Okay okay. **cracks knuckles** first part I remember leaving a festival with my fam, they had on their onzies and my buddy Ram was there. So I get on a plane and am like “see you back home!” Cut to me being captured in some sort of aquatic jail and being experimented on, not in a bad way like – let’s turn Bruce into a super hero or military experiment and he can drink water like a hamster run on his wheel swim real good and learn about nutrition. This goes on for a period of time but then I check my little calendar and I realize I need to get back “home” I befriend the driver of the campus people mover – like one of those Disney trains that’s locked to a rail and moves slowly around the park. I guess they were cool. I cannot remember their gender but they wore black and the people mover was painted black and white with like the science company logo. Driver sneaks me out in a burlap sack and puts me in the driver cabin with them. Then we start driving away but there are tourists in the other train cars and they dunno what is going on but scientists start chasing us. We’re on this dumb rail, but the car can pivot like 90 degrees at this point near the road. Driver normally does this swiftly because the cab has a fat ass and sticks out a little into traffic. This time the driver turns, ass of the cab is hanging out and a police car enroute to fuck up our days blasts against the driver cab and this disconnects the rest of the train And, somehow cuz it’s a dream, allows the driver to drive the little people mover cab like a golf cart.
We start driving away down the road into the city, palm trees and a cool purple twilight sunset are happening, our golf cart is running out of batteries and the cops are behind us.
We stall near like a storm drain or concrete river ditch, like you have in big cities. Then the driver says they’ll stay in the car while I continue to run. They wish me luck and I give them a hug before wiggling out of the cab. I crawl through this ditch and I can hear like a helicopter and the police swarming around the driver
I just keep army crawling away.
I crawl up an incline, in this dark little concrete tunnel. I just keep crawling. I can hear the street out side but the tunnel is dark except for a light ahead.
I keep going. I am also wearing my normal black pants, black t-shirt, and black sport coat. I guess the experiments also made my hair glittery and purple and maybe like I got some blue eye shadow going on but as I crawl through the tunnel I get a little dirty. At the end the tunnel comes to like a big glass box. I can see ppl walking down the street and shopping and shit, it’s busy, lots of tourists, and then I’m in this glass box on my belly looking good and wondering what the fuck. Thy can see me and there are cops setting up a road block wayyy further ahead.
The tourists start to take photos of me and ask me to pose since I’m looking so photogenic. (I was) and then professional photographers show up. So many ppl taking glamour shots of me in this glass box that I can’t see the street or cops behind them anymore.
Next the floor of the box sinks and then we fade into the next dream location.
It’s like an old Japanese ryokan. The owner is this ex patriot dood who looks like Christian Bale from American Hustle. Greasy and shady AF! There are some other guests and old Japanese grampa chillin reading his paper in his pjs. Doilies, real cozy atmosphere. I check in, cuz I’m here to stay over night and then fly out in the morning I guess.
Owner guy checks me in and we’re speaking Japanese the whole time. I know some and I’m doing pretty well. Then, and it gets pretty creepy, he tells me that this place is also a yakuza brothel and that I get a free “lap sit” with my overnight. I haven’t seen the hotel fees or prices or anything at this point. But it’s a dream and I’m curious so I say “大丈夫です” the room of lap sitting is filled with a bunch of yakuza going at it on top of dark blue futons in this big open room and I get some real fucking stink I when I go in there to pick out my partner. The mood is holy shit don’t murder me just keep doing whatever it is you were doing.The Lap sit is short, kind of satisfying but in the end not enough. But, I know like I’m not really okay with this or continuing so I say thanks, make my excuses and leave the dark blue lap sitting room.
Im getting a drink at a nearby bar to like cope with my recent actions and some white people are like “dood?” I realize I should prolly go pay, knowing that even the drinks are gunna be expensive in a place like this, but like I’m a science fugitive so it’s kind of what you pay for to be hidden I guess. Owner explains the bill to me, turns out to be $1,100 – all the money I have except for like 43 bucks. I’m like fuck there goes my life. I guess I’ll figure out how to live on 43 bucks when I get back to LA.
Owner doesn’t have Venmo so I PayPal him the money.
Then, some Norwegian tourists ask the owner about finding some lakes to go fishing. He is giving them shit and is clearly fucking with them. They show him a map of the island with like locations of interest highlighted in yellow and red, owner is like “yeah nice map, you’ll find tons of nude beaches out there!” The Norwegians turn to me and ask if I speak German and I’m like “only very very very very little but I can understand some” they try telling me in German that they want to find a lake to go fishing in. Turns out the hotel owner knows German too and then tells them there is no fishing on the island.
I go to sleep and then wake up and begin to walk to the airport. Music is playing and I have no luggage, I’m still wearing my suit and stuff and I brushed my teeth. I begin shuffling down the street just happy as can be as the music plays, it was “Party” by Yung Bae. I passed by a pair of women with long black hair who give me a nice smile and I smile and wave and continue to dance onto the ramp into the plane.
That was my Dream hope you enjoyed it.
Arthur Challenger 